There has been a lot going on in my life recently - trials and challenges, but above it all, I hear God's voice still asking me, "Do you trust Me?"
As an earnest servant of Christ and child of the Living God, everything in me wants to honestly answer that question with a resounding, "YES!" However, I find myself identifying rather with the words of David from Psalm 25, "Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me, for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have enlarged; bring me out of my distresses! Look on my affliction and my pain." (vs 16-18a).
The words of David, the man God said was after His own heart (Acts 13:22), struck a chord in my own heart as I continued in the Psalms to find an answer to my pain. I arrived at Psalm 34:17: "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears."
Those words overwhelmed me. The Lord hears.
You mean, You hear me when I'm hurting and asking for deliverance, Lord? You hear me?
"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears...[He] is close to those who are of a broken heart and...are crushed with sorrow..." Psalm 34:17-18 (Amplified)
Really, Lord? was my question.
He led me to
Psalm 139 - another psalm of David. It is a psalm I have read many times, but I read it in a fresh way this time when I reached verse 16.
"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they were all written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them."
The days fashioned for me? You mean, You created these days for me? And You knew what was going to happen all along, Lord? Before it even happened? I asked.
Yes. Came the comforting reply.
Some could say here, "If you knew, Lord, then why did You allow it to happen?"
And I would say in reply, because He loves you. Because He has a plan for you that is so much greater than our finite minds could ever begin to comprehend. He knew my days before there was even such a thing as a day. His eyes were on my life before I was even conceived. That means they were on yours, too.
Does He love me? It sure seems like it to me.
Does He care about me? I'm more convinced now than I was before - and it's because of my trouble and pain, which brought me to the end of myself and caused me to cry out to the Lord from a broken heart for an answer.
Considering this, let's return to the Lord's first question to me, "Do you trust Me?"
My pain isn't gone and my trouble hasn't ceased, but I know my Lord and Maker's heart a bit better. So I can answer, "I'm learning to trust You, Lord," and I sense He is satisfied.
We are all going to have times when we are incredibly overwhelmed and feel like one more thing is going to push us over the edge. Our natural instinct is to run away from the situation to find relief. But, I would challenge and encourage you, rather than to run away, run to the Lord and run to His Word.
The Gospel of John starts with:
"In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things were made through Him,
and without Him,
nothing was made that was made." (vs 1-3)
These verses bring us back to Psalm 139. God knew me in the beginning - before time began.
And the Word, which is Jesus Christ, was there in the beginning, too, ordaining the chapters and circumstances of each person's, especially each believer's, life.
So take Him at His Word. Seek Him in His Word. Trust Him because He hears you crying out. He's the only One who's had a plan and known your life all along.
In Christ,
Lisa Watson